Eleni's Bloggie
My never ending chatter about what's going on in my life and on my sites.

Saturday, July 12, 2003  

I've gone and waited too damn long. Now it'll take me about $140.00 to get the domain that I want, and with school coming up, there's no way I can afford to do that and buy books, and make my friggin' car payment at the same time. I don't think I want to go with HostOnce anymore, and I'm going to go with HostRocket, because I've heard better things about them, besides I can pay for two years at a time.

I don't know, but I want a new and better home for all of my sites, because they're suffering where they are. I can't have all of the forms that I want on one site, and on the other I'm being smothered by pop-up ads.

I watched Gangs of New York a bit ago, and let me say that this was probably the longest movie I've ever watched in my entire life. It wasn't bad, but it just took far too long to get from one point to the next. You already knew that Di Caprio would be walking away from the fight alive, and that he would kill the Butcher, but you didn't need a lot of the crap that they through in there for story, even though it wasn't at all bad.

Fair's in town, though I haven't been much. Work's been keeping me far too busy to do much else. I need to get another job... I move into the dorms in a little over a month, and I can't keep working out here in booniesville.

Anyway, for anyone who's reading this who even knows or cares. I opened a new fanlisting, The Dance Studio, a Tango Fanlisting at http://www.hostultra.com/~tango. Your Eyes is still closed until I can determine something to do with the poor thing, and I'll be thinking of something else to occupy my time while I wait for school to start.

posted by Eleni | 3:19 AM

Thursday, June 26, 2003  

There's a new level of seething hatred that I've reached when I now think of Dave and the horrible things that he's done to my mother, and her self esteem. He knew that she had doubts when they got together, hell we'd all been through two other rather tumoltuous relationships and she wasn't sure she wanted to start a third. But he promised that he was different, and he lied. Sufficed to say that my life has been a living hell between harvest and work...

But I'll be moving into college pretty soon, and away from all the drama of small town life.

I should probably fix my website soon, but oh well. I'm not really in the mood to write much any more, I don't really have the time. I've got nibblers for about three new stories and some old ones that seriously need to be finished before I begin to think about new ones. My goal is to have YE back up and Hero finished by the time I go to school in August, and hopefully I can start in on some other back logs as well.

posted by Eleni | 4:33 PM

Saturday, April 12, 2003  

Things are slowly progressing. And when I say slowly, I mean that they're creeping at a snail's pace back to being semi-normal. Now I know that the whole damn town will be talking about my family splitting up by the end of next week, because no one can keep their mouths shut, but hey, it's not my fault they're stupid.

My aunts kind of converged on the house in a project to keep my mother busy, and it worked rather well. We spent most of the day pulling weeds and replanting the whole yard so that it'll be ready to sell once school's out and everything. One of them even came up from Dallas just to hang out with us, I kind of love my family.

My only regret about today was that I had to go to work and miss a great portion of the rest of the clean up. Darn, no cleaning. But I did have a lot of fun just spending time with people I don't get to see very often.

I came home from work intent on watching "Far From Heaven," only I couldn't finish it. The film disgusted me. There's a whole section on anti-gay propaganda in there, and the male lead is seeing a shrink to "get over" his feelings so that he can "lead a normal life." Please. I know that this is supposed to be set in like the fifties or whatever, but there's basically no plot to this damn thing.

Anyway, I'm waiting for "Two Weeks Notice" to come to DVD, which should be in about two weeks, so that's fine and dandy. I've got three papers due on Tuesday and a visual aide with one of them, so I really should go to bed so I can get to work on them.

I also need to print up the rest of those invitations for graduation, those need to be mailed really soon, or they won't get out at all. Ooops. Silly me.

posted by Eleni | 11:59 PM

Wednesday, April 09, 2003  

Today should have been normal. In fact, it started out being one of the best days that I've had in a very long time. But then I got home and I found out that everything had been shot all to hell. I mean, everything was all wrong.

First off, Dave left. His ring and a note for mom were on his dresser in their bedroom when I went looking for a recent picture of my brother. The note revealed something that he hadn't bothered to even mention to us. My little sister tried to take her life a few days ago. So he's leaving us, because he feels that we don't matter enough to try and help the situation, and he thinks that he can do it on his own with no money and no emotional support of his own.

The day before my mother's birthday, and her husband up and leaves her with a note for explaination. He doesn't even bother to stick around long enough to explain it to her face. Fucking coward. Damn bastard has completely fucked up the last year and a half of our lives, and he just up and leaves like it's no problem to us.

I don't know if anyone knows what it's like to live with an emotionally disturbed younger sister, but Becky seems to lash out at everyone trying to help her, especially those who mean no harm. Those that are harmful are the only ones that seem to be able to get close to her. She supposedly goes to this doctor to get help, this "family specialist," but I don't think that the woman is doing anything but telling Becky that everything that she's doing is okay.

This same "specialist" tells my mother that Becky lashes out at her because she can't afford to hurt her own mother. Which I think is a bit of bullshit, there is no excuse for the way that Becky has been acting. She's been crying out for help for the longest time, but all Dave does is drink his beer and blame us while he's ignoring all the signs of a meltdown.

I'm going off to college soon, and I'm now completely screwed because of Dave, and he's gone. He's fucking screwed me over in so many damn ways it's rediculous, and he doesn't even believe that anyone other than himself is being hurt in the process, if he's feeling anything at all.

On the fourteenth, I'm visiting what will be my new home-away-from-home. I'll be at the Wichita State University campus most of the day, but it shouldn't have too much of an impact on anything except finding a new job. The twenty-first is my first appointment with my advisor for next year. The twenty-third is my next doctor's appointment, neurologist if anyone cares. I somehow doubt it. And the twenty-fifth is the day that I get to frolic with Derek at Borders for an hour on a school sponsored trip.

I graduate next month.

Sigh. I've got so many things coming up, and so many bills pilling up as well. I just need to get the hell out of here.

I really don't want to talk about this any more.

posted by Eleni | 9:42 PM

Monday, March 10, 2003  

Nothing much to talk about. Family's still being a pain in my ass, but at least I only have to deal with them for another four months or something like that.

I'm suffering severe writer's block on all of my stories, and I'm trying to upgrade my entire site while still trying to process graphics requests from other people at the same time.

Busy me.

I spent the whole weekend violently sick, which didn't help at all.

And I should be asleep, so I'll talk to everyone later.

posted by Eleni | 10:59 PM

Friday, December 06, 2002  

My life lately has been a load of crap. Dave and the girls keep trying to pretend like they're the only people on earth that matter. It's making mom, Bry, and I crazy. The other night Mariah was being a pill, and mom carried her into her bedroom to get her to calm down. Becky tried to come to her "rescue" and yelled at mom, cussing at her pushing her into dressers and the door. Paige called her daddy and he came home and yelled at mom, then he took the girls over to their grandma's house and he went to stay the night over at Lynn's house, where he usually hangs out when he's not at the fucking bar. I can't fucking take it anymore. He's being a complete asshole, and he doesn't understand that his girls aren't perfect.

Mom says she's thinking about asking him for a divorce if he doesn't clean up his act. I don't blame her, I wouldn't loose any feelings over Dave the shit head moving out and taking his self-centered children with him. He can move in with Lynn or whatever or back into his old house that his brother and family have destroyed. Stupid fuck head needs to learn to leave my mom alone. It's not her fault that his girls drink and hang out with boys all the time, and trash the house. It's their fault that they blame me and Bry for everything, and their fault that mom and Dave fight so goddamn much.

I'm taking their fucking Christmas presents back, I need the gas money anyway. No fucking way am I giving them anything when they don't do anything but try to cause problems. They've been at it from the beginning. When Dave told them he was getting married, they started to bawl, I think it's because they were frightened of not getting their damn way all the time. Becky's been trying to fuck things up the best that she can, and she's driving us all crazy.

Amber just sits on her lazy ass all day and expects things to happen the way she wants them to. She wants "responsibilities," but she won't even bother trying to take part in them when we give them to her.

Sigh. That and I've had a headache for the last four days in a row with little to no reprieve. The stupid doctors tell me to lessen my dose of medicine, and it's making it worse. I get to suffer for one more week before I call them and tell them to get me the hell off of this medicine.

Anyway, that's probably more bitching than is healthy, and I haven't even gotten into the major problems yet. Oh well, I'll try to get back to you some other time.

posted by Eleni | 1:04 AM

Sunday, December 01, 2002  

Hey everyone, nothing's going on in my life. God, I'm boring. I've been playing around with a few new site ideas, and I might just get Hero finished sometime this decade. Anyway, I'll post more when I get the chance.

posted by Eleni | 12:50 AM