Eleni's Bloggie
My never ending chatter about what's going on in my life and on my sites.

Saturday, March 16, 2002  

I've suddenly just realized something that I've probably known for a very long time: it takes me a while to get along with certain kinds of people. I mean, most of the 'popular' kids at school are the ones that I usually feel uncomfortable around. So usually in a few weeks after knowing them, I can get to where I can have a conversation with them that I started, not the other way around. It's a personal space thing, I think, and it probably makes people think that I'm a stuck up bitch when my friends think that I'm funny and nice. Most likely, it's the thing that went wrong with my last serious relationship. While Sean was an all in all 'nice guy', I didn't have much time to get used to the fact that we were dating and not just friends before he started doing the hand holding thing, and that was what made me uncomfortable. Well, probably that and the way he wormed himself into going to the movies with me and Liz when she came to town and then wouldn't take the hint and leave when we wanted to go out to dinner and the mall, going so far as to cram himself into an already full car. Yeah, that was about the last 'date' we went on. Between the massage he kept trying to give me in the middle of Harry Potter and the uneasy seating arrangement, that was about the time I decided that I didn't want a relationship. I'm probably not really built for one.

But put me in a room with any one of my friends from East, mainly Liz, Ree, Sarah, Tim, and Michelle, and we turn into a big pile of cuddly puppies. I think that Sean saw that and was a little threatened by my close relationships with them, mainly Tim, and decided that we needed to have one too. But I know for sure that he doesn't understand that it wasn't always like that. It was almost a YEAR before I was comfortable staying the night at any of their houses. I was always afraid that I was overstepping my bounds until their parents voiced that they didn't care, that they liked me. Liz and I just sorta clicked the first day we met, she reminded me a lot of my best friend Briley, whom I was missing because we weren't going to the same high school. I'm the kind of person who can have a multitude of best friends for different reasons. Briley is my best friend because she's the first person I can remember hanging out with, and because I've known her for ten years. Liz is my best friend because she matches my state of mind most of the time and because she's one of the best listeners there is. Tim is my best friend because he's my only real guy friend and he makes me laugh. Don't get me wrong, I've got a lot of guy friends, but none I spend time with outside of school. Ree is my friend because we both love Buffy. Michelle came along with Tim and Liz, but she's a funny person and has an amazing spirit. And you're probably lost, though it doesn't matter.

What brought this on was a conversation with my exstepsister, with whom I have a better relationship than some of my current stepsisters. I think that it is because 1.) We're closer in age, 2.) We've had more time to come to grips with each other, and get used to each other's moods, and 3.) We didn't live together full time. Not to mention our parents were together longer. Don't get me wrong, I love Dave's girls, they just sometimes get into a mindset where they are the center of the universe and their father's life. Becky and Amber are used to running the household, and are upset by the fact that they can't command people around anymore since my mother, brother, and I showed up. They were much otlder when their parents divorced and had time to get attached to them as a couple. Where as when my parents split, I wasn't old enough to realize what was going on and even now I know that they are better off far apart.

Now that I've psycho-anylized my whole life, I'll get to the fun part. I've decided not to do anything to my site until I find out if I'm getting the computer, 'cause it'll be a pain in the ass to transfer all of the files over, not to mention that I'm going to loose all of my submissions when I close out my juno account. I should know within a month or so, which isn't an entirely huge gap, but one that I'm going to get crap about from my friends.

I sent Chapters 12-13 or Hero to Jen for Beta, so those should be posted the second I get them back and Yahoogroups is up and running again. I'm also writing an original novel, go here to check it out http://darenotspeak.blogspot.com or if you can't take looking at it in blogger format, go here Fanfiction.net: That Dare Not Speak. There's not a lot going on with it right now, just setting up the details. I'd appriciate a review though, if you have the time. I love feedback and suggestions, they help kill writer's block. All though I think the one review that made me laugh most was this person replying to a question written in the challenge that I had answered before writing the fic, and she gave me the wrong answer. The person who wrote this challenge couldn't remember Penn's name, and in thus had dubbed him Penn/Gunn, and I know that it was Penn, but this kind reviewer pointed out that it was Gunn, and I'm like huh? Gunn is not a vampire sweetheart, he's a member of the AI team, not to mention this took place before Gunn even existed in the Ats universe. Oh well...I love my feedbackers...I hope I get more...

posted by Eleni | 10:30 PM

Friday, March 15, 2002  

Spring Break is finally here! Yay! Now I have a whole week to work on my stories, look for a job, run errands, find a prom dress, and work on an English paper. Not to mention toil in agony until I can find out if I get the new computer (well used) that I want to buy. The person I'm buying it from said that she thinks her daughter will sell it for about $350, but that she isn't completely sure and that I might be able to work out a sort of payment plan so that I don't have to wipe out my bank account. Not that there's much in there anyway. I've got to find a job before I even consider taking on something like that. It's a nice computer, and I need one of my own so I don't have to compete with people for space on the main one.

I've run my big mouth enough for one night. I'll get back to ya later.

posted by Eleni | 8:30 PM

Wednesday, March 13, 2002  

There are a few things that I'd never thought would happen in my lifetime. I have witnessed both a great symbol of equality and love towards man, and I have lived through some of the most hellish days in the history of man while some terrorists decided to use innocents as moving bombs. I mean, I can barely remember it, but I know that I was alive when they tore down the Berlin Wall, a long time symbol of Communism and opperssion of democracy in Europe. I can remember my family being excited, and I couldn't help but join in. And then, six months ago, I watched my country as it was ripped apart at the seams and then mended closer than cast iron metal as a symbol of our great economy was bombed by passenger airplanes. I saw people who normally hated each other, who would walk across the street to avoid talking to someone, I saw them do everything they possibly could to help people that they didn't even know.

I know that I haven't mentioned it a lot in this little journal thing, but I have never been more proud to be an American than when I see what good has come of our great tragedy. The Red Cross in my metropolitan area actually had to turn people away, they were getting so many people willing to donate blood, and it was coming in faster than it was needed.

Thing was, most of the people that would have needed blood were already dead. I heard someone say that the heat coming from Jet fuel was melting boots of the firefighters and would have disentigrated any body that was trapped. And it's really something to hear from people that said that they couldn't go out the front of the building because so many people were jumping from windows that they couldn't. I don't blame any of them. I would rather jump from a window and die of a broken neck or something than burn to death.

I'm getting a domain any day now...I swear, really. Over Spring Break, I'm going to look for a job, I promise. I've got a great coach that's going to keep me from resting on my ass. Soon as I get some money, I'm going to send it in and get a domain at this neat place called Hostonce.com, which is like 54 something a year, which translates to like 4.95 a month.

I'm writing a detective novel, called Fractured at the moment, but it's at Fanfiction.net if you've got an insane desire to bore yourself to death.

So what'd you guys think of the Shining-esque Buffy last night?

More sometime in the near future, including a blogger for Fractured.

posted by Eleni | 5:19 PM