Eleni's Bloggie
My never ending chatter about what's going on in my life and on my sites.

Saturday, April 12, 2003  

Things are slowly progressing. And when I say slowly, I mean that they're creeping at a snail's pace back to being semi-normal. Now I know that the whole damn town will be talking about my family splitting up by the end of next week, because no one can keep their mouths shut, but hey, it's not my fault they're stupid.

My aunts kind of converged on the house in a project to keep my mother busy, and it worked rather well. We spent most of the day pulling weeds and replanting the whole yard so that it'll be ready to sell once school's out and everything. One of them even came up from Dallas just to hang out with us, I kind of love my family.

My only regret about today was that I had to go to work and miss a great portion of the rest of the clean up. Darn, no cleaning. But I did have a lot of fun just spending time with people I don't get to see very often.

I came home from work intent on watching "Far From Heaven," only I couldn't finish it. The film disgusted me. There's a whole section on anti-gay propaganda in there, and the male lead is seeing a shrink to "get over" his feelings so that he can "lead a normal life." Please. I know that this is supposed to be set in like the fifties or whatever, but there's basically no plot to this damn thing.

Anyway, I'm waiting for "Two Weeks Notice" to come to DVD, which should be in about two weeks, so that's fine and dandy. I've got three papers due on Tuesday and a visual aide with one of them, so I really should go to bed so I can get to work on them.

I also need to print up the rest of those invitations for graduation, those need to be mailed really soon, or they won't get out at all. Ooops. Silly me.

posted by Eleni | 11:59 PM

Wednesday, April 09, 2003  

Today should have been normal. In fact, it started out being one of the best days that I've had in a very long time. But then I got home and I found out that everything had been shot all to hell. I mean, everything was all wrong.

First off, Dave left. His ring and a note for mom were on his dresser in their bedroom when I went looking for a recent picture of my brother. The note revealed something that he hadn't bothered to even mention to us. My little sister tried to take her life a few days ago. So he's leaving us, because he feels that we don't matter enough to try and help the situation, and he thinks that he can do it on his own with no money and no emotional support of his own.

The day before my mother's birthday, and her husband up and leaves her with a note for explaination. He doesn't even bother to stick around long enough to explain it to her face. Fucking coward. Damn bastard has completely fucked up the last year and a half of our lives, and he just up and leaves like it's no problem to us.

I don't know if anyone knows what it's like to live with an emotionally disturbed younger sister, but Becky seems to lash out at everyone trying to help her, especially those who mean no harm. Those that are harmful are the only ones that seem to be able to get close to her. She supposedly goes to this doctor to get help, this "family specialist," but I don't think that the woman is doing anything but telling Becky that everything that she's doing is okay.

This same "specialist" tells my mother that Becky lashes out at her because she can't afford to hurt her own mother. Which I think is a bit of bullshit, there is no excuse for the way that Becky has been acting. She's been crying out for help for the longest time, but all Dave does is drink his beer and blame us while he's ignoring all the signs of a meltdown.

I'm going off to college soon, and I'm now completely screwed because of Dave, and he's gone. He's fucking screwed me over in so many damn ways it's rediculous, and he doesn't even believe that anyone other than himself is being hurt in the process, if he's feeling anything at all.

On the fourteenth, I'm visiting what will be my new home-away-from-home. I'll be at the Wichita State University campus most of the day, but it shouldn't have too much of an impact on anything except finding a new job. The twenty-first is my first appointment with my advisor for next year. The twenty-third is my next doctor's appointment, neurologist if anyone cares. I somehow doubt it. And the twenty-fifth is the day that I get to frolic with Derek at Borders for an hour on a school sponsored trip.

I graduate next month.

Sigh. I've got so many things coming up, and so many bills pilling up as well. I just need to get the hell out of here.

I really don't want to talk about this any more.

posted by Eleni | 9:42 PM